What Are We Stress Eating Tonight?

If you live in the United States of America (or pay attention to and/or care about the people who do), you probably don’t feel that great right now. Even if you aren’t someone who gets really into electoral politics once every four years, you are probably feeling at least some anxiety around the election (or the possibility of election-related violence, or the ongoing pandemic, or the white supremacy that is imbued into the very fabric of the state).

Such things can make it hard to eat or enjoy eating, but eating is something we have to do if we wish to continue to exist. Eating can also provide an avenue of escape, one which I suspect will be very popular tonight (second only to booze and weed).

I consider myself something of an edible escapism expert, soif you are looking for suggestions of what to feed your feelings tonight, I have a few.

You May Also Like

Dip, and things with which to dip

If you find yourself with your eyes glued to some sort of screen this evening (be it the big bad screen or the little bad screen), a knife and fork kind of deal might not be the best choice. Food that can be shoveled into your mouth by other food (chips, bread, roasted vegetables) is ideal in this scenario. That’s right, I am—once again—advocating for dip.

Make a Better, Faster Onion Dip With Burnt Onions Read More

I will not list every single dip I enjoy—the onion dips alone would take up too many words—but I am going to urge you to check out this site’s “dips” tag. If I had to choose one dip, it would probably be the burnt onion (it’s easy and it tastes good), though a case could be made for mashed potato dip, bagna cauda (the dip of luxury), and ramen dip (a Lifehacker classic). Don’t feel up to mixing dry seasoning into a creamy substrate? That’s okay, you can dip cut vegetables directly into ramen powder. (It’s called “dusting your wets,” and it’s very good.)

Throw something in the waffle iron

I will be the first to admit that my Will It Waffle? series sometimes veers off into the realm of unhinged desperation, but that is exactly the kind of energy tonight calls for.

You Should Waffle Two Pieces of Pizza Together Read More

But tonight isn’t the night for waffled radicchio or waffled bell peppers—no. Tonight is the night to waffle chicken nuggets (for your children), frozen pierogi (for yourself), and SPAM, and prosciutto, and Honey Buns, and cinnamon rolls, and slices of frozen pound cake. Tonight is the night to waffle entire wedges of brie (and then drench them with honey). Tonight is the night to waffle two pieces of pizza into one unholy sandwich. Tonight is the night to live.

Throw it in the air fryer

I have a theory that Serious Cooks hate the air fryer because it is a device that was designed for dirt-bag stoners and their dirt-bag habits. It’s best at cooking frozen foods (like pizza rolls) to crisp perfection in short order, but it also excels at reheating your favorite junk food (such as two day-old egg rolls or french fries).

Air Fryer Hot Dogs Are the Platonic Ideal of Gas Station Roller Dogs Read More

If you want a “meal meal,” you can use your air fryer to make a hot dog worthy of the finest 7-Eleven, or you can be truly adult and make a meal of gnocchi and meatballs in about 1o minutes. Don’t feel like meatballs? Simply toss the gnocchi in enough oil to coat and season them with your favorite savory powder. I’ve been making crispy gnocchi seasoned with Caldo de Tomate (and dipping them in queso), and it fucking rules.

Uh... popcorn?

Popcorn is the classic “fuck it” meal. You should pop yours in far too much oil, then pulverize as many seasonings as you desire to make a powder that will actually stick to the puffy kernels. Need suggestions? We have many, but my current popcorn seasoning routine involves powdered parm, nutritional yeast, and MSG. It’s a savory masterpiece, if I do say so myself. (You can also line your bowl with hot sauce for a spicy treat.)

Don’t forget dessert

Some people combat stress by getting lost in a baking project, but I am not one of them. I combat stress by eating baked goods, but baking itself is not something I find relaxing. This is why I lean heavily on boxed brownies, though I often swap out the vegetable oil for something a little fancier.

If you don’t feel like making a whole batch of brownies, you can use a 1/4-cup of the mix to make a personal cake, or you could pivot to these three-ingredient peanut butter (or almond butter) cookies.

What will you be shoving in your face tonight to quell your anxieties and calm your nerves? Will you be drinking? Will you be smoking? Will you be screaming? Let us know in the comments!